The final chapter on not throwing a grocery store par-tay.

Skip the grocery store cake (yes, this means warehouse stores too). It’s a dead giveaway. I have been in your shoes. Those cakes are already made or easily ordered. They can make one to match your theme and have it ready to go on party day. It’s super tempting to go this route. Not buying your party cake at the grocery store was always going to be the third part in this series but for a moment I started thinking that maybe grocery store cakes aren’t that bad. Sure, they might have big yellow frosting roses on top, but that’s okay, right? Then I spent 20 minutes on one of my favorite sites, Cake Wrecks, and now I’m standing firm. (If you don’t know what Cake Wrecks is or if you are unconvinced, then you need to go there, now.)

If you really want a cake that is already made, find a fun bakery and have them make one. I have several bakers that I trust and they provide all of my cakes and cupcakes for my parties, even my own childrens’ birthday parties. I usually have them make me a plain cake and then I embellish it myself. If you’re up for making your own, then maybe you’ve heard of a little lady named Martha Stewart. I think she has single-handedly transformed the homemade cake into something spectacular and given all of us the confidence to at least try. Inspired by her cakes, I made my kid’s cakes for many years (until I realized that my limited time on party day was better spent on other party awesomeness). If you go this route you can make some great, theme specific cakes. Like a lollipop garden cake, purse cake, or butterfly cupcakes.

I still haven’t persuaded you? Personally, I know what my bakers put into their cakes. A few use all organic ingredients and there isn’t any weird stuff like preservatives, high fructose corn syrup, and hydrogenated oil. I can even order gluten-free and other allergy-free kinds. Do I even need to mention that they are made from scratch, not a mix? I trust my bakers. I know my bakers’ names and I know what they look like. They are not anonymous store workers. You are going to serve this cake to family and friends and eat it YOURSELF. You might want to know who is making your food.

Your excuses: “I don’t know how to decorate a cake.” Lucky for you, a million other people actually excel in that area. Go find one. Or take a cake decorating class and practice. That’s what I did. “I don’t have time to worry about this. The grocery store is so convenient.” It’s also convenient to look up real bakeries on your computer and call them with your order from the comfort of your own home. “I can’t afford to pay someone to make a special cake. It’s too expensive.” Then make some cupcakes yourself. From scratch. There are recipes all over the internet. Do a test run a few days before. My kids would love to eat early birthday cupcakes. Buy some fun cupcake wrappers from Hey Yo Yo or Bake it Pretty and make some cute cupcake toppers. I even have directions right here to do that. “But I always buy my cakes there and they’ve always done a good job.” Fine, buy your cake at the local grocery store/warehouse place. But go and look at the ingredients before you get your heart set on it. What’s in the cake? What are you serving your kids? “But my daughter wants a topsy tursvy cake like the one she saw on Cake Boss.” Now we’re talking. You definitely need to avoid the grocery store for that one!

Invest some time, money, and maybe some of your talent into the birthday party cake. This isn’t a wedding, but the cake is still a main focal point of a party. You want to get it right.

I’m calling this series: Don’t throw a “grocery store” party.

Walk past the piñatas. I know you want to stop, but just keep going. Aha. I have your attention now. I don’t really have anything against piñatas. Okay I do. Here’s why. Every party has one little league champ that smashes the piñata before everyone gets a chance to take a swing. And once the piñata is broken candy goes flying everywhere and the fast kids scramble and the slow kids are left empty handed. Do you really want to spend your time re-dividing up the loot? And do kids really need more candy? Piñatas also set up a bit of a competitive spirit (both in the smashing and the candy collecting) that is best avoided at kids’ parties. But most of all I hate piñatas because they lack imagination. Your child has an awesome imagination and so do YOU. Maybe that’s one of the reasons you’ve been so successful in life so far. You can think up creative outfits, creative ways to use up leftovers or maybe just creative ways to get your spouse to clean. You can think of something better than a store bought, over-priced, over-commercialized piñata.

Your excuses: “I’m out of time”—that’s lack of planning not lack of imagination. It’s just as easy to organize a treasure hunt that gets kids thinking and moving as it is to fill a piñata. “I’m out of ideas”—that’s lack of researching. The internet is full of party ideas. Google it. “I’m out of money”—all the more reason to get creative. Piñatas aren’t cheap to buy or fill, but old-fashioned games like red rover are free. “But I honestly can’t think of a better party activity”—then you have a theme issue. Some commercialized themes can paint you into a corner. Maybe you need to switch your party theme. “My child has their heart set on a piñata”– then by all means, have one. But integrate it into the party as a way to start a scavenger hunt, where the individual list items fall out attached to a tiny piece of candy (make sure you have enough for everyone, of course). Or smash open the piñata at the end of the party and have the take home favor fall out. Like eco-friendly nail polish. Or a racecar.

While planning your party, nurture your child’s imagination and your creative spirit and I know that you’ll come up with an awesome alternative to a piñata. And as a bonus, you’ll be one step closer to avoiding a grocery store party.